Skip to main content

The Best Mindset When Meeting New People

Whenever Dan Sullivan meets someone new, he reminds himself that he’s only the 21st most important person in their life. In this episode, he explains why this is the best way to begin a new relationship.

Here's some of what you'll learn in this episode:

  • Why Dan’s importance to someone else isn’t about Dan himself.
  • How Dan came by his understanding naturally.
  • The reason why Dan doesn’t ask his most important question right away.
  • How you can help someone even before creating new value for them.

Show Notes:

To move up: To move up on the list of important people in someone’s life, you have to create value for that person’s world.

Based on understanding: Your relationship with a client has to be based on your understanding of what they’re doing and how you can be useful to them.

The only place: The only place you can create value for someone is in their future.

Fear, excitement, and strength: To create value for someone, you have to recognize their fears, excitement, and strengths.

From their past: When you transform someone’s excitement about their future, you’ll also transform the value they see from their past.

Strength to overcome: People can use strengths from their past to overcome fears in their present and future.

Deep D.O.S. Innovation by Dan Sullivan:


Episode Transcript:
Shannon Waller: Hi, Shannon Waller here with Dan Sullivan. And welcome to Inside Strategic Coach. Dan, I'm excited because you said something the other day, and you've said it before, that I wanted to ask you about because I find it very interesting and provocative. And one of the things that you said was, "I know that I'm always number 21." So what does that mean? Because the way you talk about it, for me, is very empowering and thoughtful and a different approach than what most people take.
Dan Sullivan: Well, it has to do with the fact that you meet new people. And I look for a mindset, what kind of mindset when I just met somebody brand new, don't really know the person I've been introduced to them, or they've introduced themselves to me. And it could be, you know, in a wide variety of different situations, I just fall back and say, I'm number 21. And what that means is that, I'm going to communicate that I know that there's 20 more important people in their life than I am. And that if I'm going to be useful to this individual, at all, to move up from number 21 to higher, then it has to be value that I create in their world, and it's not about me.